i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We need to rekindle our bromance
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
