a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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