I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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