I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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