I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We left the knife in your bed.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
