im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
