The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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