My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
