Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
