All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
