out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
