you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize