i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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