I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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