Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize