So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
