This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
