i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Enjoy the penises
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
