oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
she smelled like a LAN party
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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