well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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