My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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