but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
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