hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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