When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm like, not good at living.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
