I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
