Im at strip club and am horny
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
