I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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