I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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