You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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