Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
