porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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