If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
