I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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