Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
