Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
