I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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