chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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