We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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