I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
