I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize