ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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