his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
