We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
