totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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