So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
