Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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