Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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