What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
