dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
