toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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