oh god the rape fog is back!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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