her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
