Screwed.edu
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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