yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
