Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
