Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
