i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
