gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
