also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
