She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize