I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
