Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this must be what syphilis tastes like
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
